A zombie.
A zombie with terrible morning breath.
A zombie with terrible morning breath and, it has to be said, a massive yeast infection.
Fortunately this putrid smelling death walker wears a lot of aftershave.
Unfortunately his brand of aftershave is called ‘Liquid feet’.
This skank-ridden zombie likes to sunbathe in 80 degree heat
using mayonnaise as sunscreen, a practice that caused him to singe every single hair on his body.
And this unholy smelling sun worshipping undead idiot – somehow forgot he had left five pounds of shrimp in his backpack for the last 5 months.
A zombie with a glorious suntan who crawled out of the city’s main sewer with five pounds of nasty shrimp on his back has managed to squeeze himself under your shed where he has been taking a nap for the last 8 days.

At least, judging by the smell - that’s exactly what you imagine is under there.
It’s either that or a dead rat… its probably a dead rat.

Rentokil. The experts in pest control.
Call them at the first sniff of trouble.