THE MOST EPIC SEAFARING LEYEND EVER TOLD

TitleTHE MOST EPIC SEAFARING LEYEND EVER TOLD
BrandPROCTER&GAMBLE
Product/ServiceOLD SPICE
Category A01. Consumer Goods
Entrant LEO BURNETT Madrid, SPAIN
Idea Creation LEO BURNETT Madrid, SPAIN
Production LEO BURNETT Madrid, SPAIN
Credits
Name Company Position
Gastón Guetmonovitch Leo Burnett Madrid Chief Creative Officer
Juan Frias Leo Burnett Madrid Head of Art
Juan Frias Leo Burnett Madrid Creative Director
Carlos Mañas Leo Burnett Madrid Creative Director
Sara Alonso Freelance Illustrator
Alejandro Lopez Leo Burnett Madrid Community Manager
Vallivana Gallart Leo Burnett Madrid Designer
Marcos Romero Leo Burnett Madrid Copywriter
Alejandro Alvarez Leo Burnett Madrid Copywriter
Rodrigo Sevilla Leo Burnett Madrid Art Director
Santiago Schiappacasse Leo Burnett Madrid Art Director
Pedro Garcia Leo Burnett Madrid Head of print
Cristian Coca Leo Burnett Madrid Graphic Production

View Script

Write a short summary of what happens in the radio or audio work.

The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told was created to explain how epic Old Spice Captain can make you smell. It´s the story of a man wrapped in a towel who goes on a quest to find the sea creature that ate one of his arms when he was splashing himself with Old Spice Captain. He faces all the sea dangers and sea legends in history on his way to find it (more than actually needed), and overcomes them with no more weapons than his Old Spice´s bottles and the hook he has instead of an arm. These dangers go from the Loch Ness Monster to underwater volcanoes or all the bearded pirates in history traveling together on the same ship. In the end he obviously find this creature but we won´t tell you what happens then. Find it out. Listen to the full 30 minutes.

Translation. Provide a full English translation of any audio.

CHAPTER 1 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 1: MORE PERILOUS EVEN THAN THE MOST PERILOUS PORT IN THE WORLD.” NARRATOR: I first heard this story from an old sea dog out fishing for krakens in the Southern Seas. We showered in 10-meter swells on the ship’s deck and doused ourselves in Old Spice as he regaled me. By Neptune, the horror in his eyes gave goose bumps even to the megatooth shark tattoo emblazoned on my thigh. The story began on the MOST perilous day, in the MOST perilous port in the MOST perilous city where the MOST perilous men live to hunt the MOST perilous monsters in the world. And from a MOST perilous fog, smelling like the MOST perilous guy in the world, emerged him. Wrapped in a towel, a bottle of Old Spice Captain on one muscular arm, and on the other... a hook. His name was Isaiah... and those that saw him say he carried with him nothing else but the Old Spice and his white pirate steed as he wandered among the moored vessels in search of the MOST perilous ship in the world. ISAIAH: Nautilus 1? Nah. A ship more perilous than the Nautilus 1? Neeh. One of those weather worn Alaskan crab boats? Nah, more still. The ship that killed the iceberg that killed the Titanic? Keep trying. NARRATOR: But then…The craft he found was one whose moniker alone made his deltoids stand on end. For this craft was named: “THE ATOMIC BICEPS.” ISAIAHA: To be continued, ch ch ch ch (suspense) CHAPTER 2 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 2: A MAN-MAN ABOARD THE ATOMIC BICEPS”. NARRATOR: On all the seven seas there was no captain more gigantic than Man Mountain, the captain of the Atomic Biceps. A man as endless as an abyss and as demanding as a doctorate in astrophysics. Like any captain worth their salt, he was missing an eye. But instead of a patch, he wore a stone. They didn’t call him Captain Man Mountain for nothing. And before Isaiah and his deodorants could step foot on board the Atomic Biceps, Captain Man Mountain stopped him cold and said: CAPTAIN MAN MOUNTAIN: Hold on there. You may smell like part of my crew, but... are you truly worthy? Prove it. DUEL ME, AND LET US SEE WHO CAN SAY THE MOST MANLY THING EVER SAID. SAILORS: Ohhh mama! NARRATOR: And with that, the ship’s motley crew began to growl phrases to their captain that, just through sheer utterance, could have sunk an aircraft carrier... SAILORS: GIANT DRILL! POISONOUS MASTODON! A 313.6 BHP/LITRE ENGINE! NARRATOR: Then it was Isaiah’s turn. And in that moment he caught a whiff of his Old Spice Captain and what he said next, with a strange voice, echoed throughout every corner of that perilous port... even bringing one of its walls tumbling down: ISAIAH (user voice): PROTEIN! NARRATOR: To be continued, ta da tata ta da tata (imitation of the main song). CHAPTER 3 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 3: THE TREMENDOUS FLASHBACK”. NARRATOR: In all his mountainous life, Captain Man Mountain’s sea-hardened eardrums had never ever heard anything so man, man. “PROTEIN!” He stuck out his hand and said... CAPTAIN MAN MOUNTAIN: Welcome to my whaler, cabin boy... Now, let’s hope you survive more than a day! NARRATOR: The first task entrusted to Isaiah with was to swab the Atomic Biceps’s deck. And while he was at it, a gnarled old mariner with knuckles like rhinoceros knees wandered over and asked Isaiah about the glossy hook where once hung a hand. OLD SEA DOG: Isaiah, aaaaargh! What the devil happened to your arrrrr-m. NARRATOR: Isaiah’s brow furrowed, quaking his temples, and he began to tell his story to that salty old pirate. ISAIAH: Just as I took a moment to splash myself with incredibly fresh Old Spice Captain at sea, the most powerful beast to ever wrestle from the deeps burst forth, taking my hand in one magnificent bite. And since then I've been chasing that filthy beast across the Seven Seas to seek my vengeance, and I will have my vengeance.” OLD SEA SALT: Ahhhh… Aaaaargh! Well, instead of a hook, you should've put A CANNON then, … Aaaaargh. SAIAH: A cannon? Well, now, that is manly, man... How did i miss that? Isaiah: To be continued, arrrrrg. CHAPTER 4 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 4: MENACE AT THE CRACK OF DAWN.” NARRATOR: At dawn they set sail. And since this is the Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told by Old Spice, and not just any old legend like The Odyssey or some yarn spun by Jules Verne, before they could even say their goodbyes from the poop deck, PIRATE FROM THE SHIP: Farewell my offspring! Don't kill anyone without me! NARRATOR: …The first sea monster in this epic saga, a mutant serpent, lunged for the prow. As it barrelled towards them, its jaws stretched wide open. Scraps of transatlantic ocean liners stuck between its molars. Its eyes burned like two surface-to-air missiles and, riding on each side of its forked tongue, sat two musclebound dwarves. And Isaiah, freshly slapped with Old Spice Captain and smelling like a sailor since the moment he woke up was the only one keeping watch for such a creature’s arrival. 200 leagues... 100 leagues... 10 leagues... And just when the monster was close enough to gobble him up... MONSTER: Isaiah? ISAIAH: Loch Ness Monster!! MONSTER: Uh, I almost ate you, man... good thing you smell like Old Spice Captain. NARRATOR: Yes, it was his old friend, the Loch Ness Monster. ISAIAH: What the devil are you doing here in salt water? MONSTER: Ya know, the loch has changed. The tourists, the influencers. You know I choked on a selfie stick the other week? Yeah, I couldn’t even swallow the arm attached to it. I tell you, the social media grind isn’t for me. ISAIAH: Yeah, I hear you. Well, at least you’ll cameo in this tale, it was looking sort of grim, but we made it... Come on, gimme a hug! NARRATOR: But when he went to hug his old buddy, Isaiah forgot that his hand was no longer a hand, but a glossy hook. Now sunk right into the Monster’s jugular, killing him instantly and truly turning him into a legend. MONSTER: The Yeti doesn't exist, but I do... NARRATOR: And just like that, Isaiah unwittingly earned the respect of the crew. But he was far less convinced. He cursed the day he lost his arm. ISAIAH: “Curse the day I lost my arm!!!” NARRATOR: But this legend, epic to its core, has no time for grumbling or cursing. For straight after accidentally annihilating the Loch Ness monster, a school of punching piranhas began to vent their wraith on the Atomic Biceps’ hull. Punch after punch rained down, an abusive torrent that risked the loss of the entire crew. ISAIAH: Shiver me timbers! If we keep rocking like this, we'll be shipwrecked in no time... NARRATOR: Without a second thought, Isaiah splashed on some Old spice and dove into the depths like a torpedo, right after those scoundrels. The punching fish, averse to taking any unfair advantage, swam together as one, creating a ginormous fist, which Isaiah took on bravely in an epic, epic battle... to the death. And if there was any question of the victor, know this: That night for dinner, the crew had their fill of fish. ISAIAH: To be continued, (punching sound). CHAPTER 5 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 5: THE TEMPESTUOUS STORM”. NARRATOR: Savouring those knuckled fish was a delicacy, and while they relaxed over the meal the crew began to compare scars. But to the crews’s surprise, Isaiah brandished not a one. For no soul has been wild enough to leaves a scar on hero. ISAIAH: Well, umm... Except for... an amputated arm. NARRATOR: And though wild to consider, this is of course all true. And even wilder and truer still, was that in the very moment of this story, the most perilous storm to ever blow, blowed down upon them. As was fitting, for the most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told by Old Spice. Thunderous claps crashed down like epic monster trucks at a rally, the sea spit out tsunamis of manliness. T his had never, ever, EVER happened before in the history of all time. Gusts of wind attacked liked demons from port to starboard, water rammed the ship from starboard to port. The craft swung like maracas. The main mast, shattered. The Atomic Biceps was adrift. SAILOR: Why did I have to become a pirate and not just stay at home in the family business? NARRATOR: The sailors took take refuge below deck, like cowardly gutter rats smelling of woodland flowers. But not Isaiah, no. Isaiah smelled like a man-man... Isaiah smelled like Old Spice Captain and, bursting with courage… He held up the sail with his hand and his hook, and stood there firm, a mast of a man crying out “Banzai”... ISAIAH: Now, you listen to me... Banzaiiiiiiiiiii... ISAIAH: To be continued, Banzaaaaaiiiiiiiiii. + CHAPTER 6 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 6: IN THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF MANLINESS”. NARRATOR: In a game of chicken between the storm as Isaiah, the lightning, thunder, and even meteorites winced. Isiah had bested the storm, but in this legend there’s no room for cosy downtime. So, unexpectedly, a boomerang Isaiah had thrown in 1937 finally spun back and smacked him on the chin, sending him rolling overboard, unconscious. ISAIAH: Hey, I’m unconscious. NARRATOR: Weeks later, Isaiah woke up, a castaway. The ATOMIC BICEPS thousands of nautical miles away. So Isaiah dove into the waves and began to swim freestyle. He did this for several days. Sometimes, he would draft off a giant electric eel. On other occasions, the electric eel would draft off him. Along the way, a giant octopus sporting impressive pecs tried to devour him. But the megawatts from the eel had strengthened the man, man smell of his Old Spice Captain to stratospheric levels, prompting the octopus's pecs to turn tail and hide at the first whiff of such a manly scent. The octopod went running after them, terrified, yelling the sort of cowardly things a giant octopus with pectorals should never really yell. OCTOPUS: Moooooommmmmmy!! And as if things couldn’t get any more epic in this epic story, he arrived at a village of male sirens who were being terrorized by an underwater volcano, set to erupt and destroy their mythological civilization, obliterating them to be forgotten by time. So powerful was Isaiah that the muscles of his tongue could speak even underwater, so he said to the sirens, ISAIAH: Stay calm my lovely little fishes, Isaiah will save you. NARRATOR: He splashed on a bit of Old Spice Captain, and using his hands to drum out a rhythm on his thighs, launched into a manly lullaby... ISAIAH: Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep little volcano... NARRATOR: ...Immediately the foreboding volcano fell into a slumber, and the sirens were saved. ISAIAH: To be continued, don´t go to sleep. CHAPTER 7 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 7: AFTER ISAIAH’S QUADRICEPS!” NARRATOR: If this was just any old legend, the sirens would burst with joy at being saved. But that is not epic... so the exact opposite happened instead. The sirens took one look at Isaiah’s strapping, quadriceps. And then looked at their own fishtails. They looked at those taught hamstrings. And then at their little fishtails. They looked at those knees joining titanic thigh and calf together. And then... at their own fishtails. And well, envy got the best of them. So they went after his legs as if they were zombies looking for human brains. SIRENS: We want those legs! Leeeeeeegs! NARRATOR: Their deepest, darkest side got the better of them, and they turned into striking sea abominations, who began chasing Isaiah all over the ocean. Isiah swam in strokes that punched the water, and with each one he began to accelerated to cruising speed of thousands of knots per hour. But even so, the sirens gained on him. Finally Isaiah managed to flee by using his hook to grab onto the anchor of a passing ship. The rare time he was happy to have a hook and not a cannon. When Isaiah was hoisted onto the deck, he discovered that not just any ship but a ship carrying the most fearsome bearded pirates of all time. Red Beard, Blue Beard, Black Beard, Cannon Beard, Tentacle Beard and Beard beard. But their captain was none other than Boom John Silver himself, who on Treasure Island dug so deep he ended up discovering a chest on the other side of the world. They all looked mistrustfully at Isaiah’s beardless chin. He was trapped. For these particular pirates were not famous for their hospitality, much less to a stranger without a beard. If Isaiah wanted to get his arm back, he had to do something... Inspiration struck. Isiah splashed a bit of Old Spice Captain on his chops... and concentrating hard, (mmmmmhmmmm, mmmmhmmmmm) he managed to make a beard grow that was as strong and robust as a redwood forest through sheer manly will alone. At the sight of such a luxurious beard, the pirates relaxed their furrowed brows and accepted Isaiah outright. Changing the tone of his whirlwind of a voice, he became known outright as “Tornado Beard” Isaiah: To be continued, (mmmmmmhmmmmmm) CHAPTER 8 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 8: A RIVAL MUCH TOO MAN, MAN FOR ISAIAH” NARRATOR: Captain Boom John Silver strode in, causing both men and beards to step back, to create a path reeking of manliness from here to the four corners of the world. CAPTAIN BOOM: Welcome Tornado Beard, we’re going to Island F-18, which of course has the shape of an F-18. You may join us, or jump back overboard right now into this sea infested with sirens envious of your muscular legs”. NARRATOR: Naturally, Isaiah accepted. And just like that, he found himself once again aboard a ship, loaded with vermin. And above it all, flew the most vile and manly of all the seafaring flags: the pirate flag. Yet instead of crossbones, it sported two crossed bazookas. Days later, on an afternoon which was as calm as it was ominous, a strange and mysterious wind began to blow a hypnotic melody leeward, and soon a fleet of ghost ninja submarines surfaced, ready to take the ship. Just when everything seemed to indicate that a cascade of men-men sailors were about to match with a cascade of ghost-ghost ninjas, suddenly Isaiah, realized this enemy too, used Old Spice Captain. And his mind, which could not only detonate bombs through sheer force of will but was also pretty quick on the general uptake, let his very well-defined musculature know that the moment had arrived to be smart, albeit still in a very manly way, of course. And for the first time in his life, the moment had arrived to get the hell outta there. Of course on this day Master Poseidon didn't look too inclined to be on the side of the men-men. The ocean lord failing to blow any wind to their advantage. So, Isaiah breathed in a bit of the fresh Old Spice Captain his body was still exuding... and blew out such a sharp breath that the ship instantly whisking the brave pirates away from that accursed fleet of ghost ninjas. The crew clapped wildly, but when Isaiah himself was about to join in he remembered the hook on his hand and thought better of it. So, he clapped with his mouth. That night, as the pirates watered their gullets and the sea seemed calm. But in the Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told, that is not good at all. In fact it’s a bad omen. A tremendously bad omen. Suddenly everything grew dark. Darker than the blackest black hole. But Isaiah had once been inside a black hole, and he knew that this wasn't precisely a black hole. No, this was the shadow of his most worthy opponent... the beast that had wrenched off his arm in one bite... ISAIAH: GRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! NARRATOR: To be continued, ohhh mama. CHAPTER 9 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 9: THE MOTHER OF ALL BATTLES”. NARRATOR: The beast was there, bursting with biceps everywhere you looked... on its torso, on its eyelids, on its tongue... even its biceps had biceps. It let out a roar that sounded like an opera straight from hell. SEA MONSTER: “Naaaaarrrrrrrrgggg.” Or, put it another way: “Come down here and face me, if you’re gutsy enough.” NARRATOR: Isaiah was ready to jump in, but knew that, in order to face a creature too devilish for hell itself, he was going to need an extra dose of motivation. So before leaping into the briny sea and allowing the beast to swallow him up, Isaiah turned to his own abdominals, pounding out one of the most epic speeches that any ab had ever heard: ISAIAH: “Abdominal bros, we’ve been together a long time, smelling like a man-man and lived our doctrine of manliness everywhere we’ve gone—at times a bit too gratuitously, I admit. But now we face the unknown. This beast has biceps. It’s probable that a few of us won’t make it. If you want to run away, I’ll understand. But was men-men, I say let us face this foe. Let us give this abomination a good whipping. For if we are to smell glorious, if we are to waft of old spice, we must be men-men. Now, whoever’s with me say: WASABIIIIIII .... NARRATOR: And naturally, his abs yelled back in unison WASABIIIII!!!! Just like that, Isaiah and his abs jumped directly into the jaws of the vulgar monster. Deep in the entrails of the beast were found all manner of manly things...battle tanks, grizzly bears, sumo wrestlers, robots from 1980s Japanese TV shows. But these were nothing compared to the treasure at its very depth. For back behind double necked guitars, and a pro wrestler’s leotard, Isaiah found the real prize: his amputated arm. ISAIAH: Oh, my arm! But since the day it left his body, much had happened. The arm had patted on so much Old Spice Captain that it had gone beyond man-man... and now... sported a fist the size of a whale. A really big whale... NARRATOR: To be continued…or not. CHAPTER 10 “Old Spice presents: The Most Epic Seafaring Legend Ever Told. Chapter 10: THE MOST EPIC ENDING EVER TOLD.” ISAIAH: Come on, now. Calm down, relax. NARRATOR: Isaiah tried to tame the gargantuan arm he once called his own, but it writhed around, wild. And with so much manly thrashing about inside, the beast became nauseous and spit them out like in Moby Dick … only if Moby Dick were way more muscular. As they waded in the seas, Isaiah and his now wild wrestled still. And just as the beastly fist began to get the better of him, Isaiah remembered his trusty Old Spice, splashed it on his hook, and let the calming scent of man calm the crazed hand down. He approached it like a downed wildebeest, calmly, confidently. He soothed its clenching knuckles, and with powerful restraint, found a way to reset it onto his muscular body. He turned, and raised the fist with pride, yelling his now charismatic ISAIAH: “OHHH MAMA!” NARRATOR: Nobody ever saw Isaiah again. But even today some sailors swear that, on the deepest darkest nights, the sea begins to smell like a man, man and a muscular ghost arm crosses over the ship, from stem to stern, smelling faintly, but distinctly, like a man-man. And this is the end of the most epic seafaring legend ever told by old spice. Yes, there´s nothing else.

Cultural / Context information for the jury

In Spain, Old Spice laughs at the stereotypes of masculinity. And it does this by exaggerating all the clichés. So the whole story is a parody, but still tries to explain how good the deodorant smells.